Inappropriate, Superfluous Romance
by Xanagar
Summary: Kabuto. A series of humorous, romantic, and sometimes cliched moments between Tendou and Kagami. - Boy love; don't like, don't read. -
1. 朝

**Overview**

Title: Inappropriate, Superfluous Romance

Author: Xanagar

Part: One

Rating: M

Genre: Romance, Humor

Series: Kamen Rider Kabuto

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of _Kamen Rider Kabuto_. I did not gain any profit in producing this fan fiction; it was created for entertainment purposes only.

**Warning(s)**

As if the title itself wasn't a big enough warning. There's boy-lovin' abroad! Oh, and some puns. Beware of the puns.

**Author's Note**

It's hard to get through an episode of _Kamen Rider Kabuto_ without becoming thoroughly engulfed in the idea that Tendou and Kagami are caught in a web of profound sexual explicitness. No, really. Therefore, this is merely a series of one-shots (drabbles, really) that allow me to bask in my own hilarity. There is no specific timeline, nor any sense of consciousness. Consider yourself a voyeur.

* * *

朝

* * *

Tendou believed in routines, in the idea that, if consistent, one could surely adapt to a certain way of doing things. It made sense. It was he, after all, who had fallen into the daily ritual of taking care of Jyuka, of making sure she was comfortable, happy. Under his supervision, her every need could be tended to, her every wish granted. His said ritual consisted of making sure she made her way to school on time, accompanying her on trips outside their own home, answering any and all questions she presented to him, and, most importantly, providing her with a nourishing, delicious breakfast every single morning.

And so, he was surprised. No, more than surprised. He was agitated.

He tried to make his voice sound calm, unsuspecting. "What are you doing?"

The boy in question was standing, quite serenely in fact, within view inside the kitchen. He appeared to be in deep concentration, hovering back and forth from the nearby refrigerator to the stove. He wore a small, rather dainty apron around his waist.

Tendou coughed loudly, purposefully. "I said-"

The boy turned around. Tendou saw a smile form across his face. He sighed. "Kagami," he said, as if the name itself took just as much energy as actually interacting with the human that claimed it.

"Tendou!" Kagami waved him over, wiped his hands upon the apron that, from full view, was actually quite dirty. "_Ohayoo gozaimasu_!"

"_Ohayoo_," Tendou replied, not bothering with politeness, at least not now. Hesitantly, he made his way into the kitchen, and immediately caught an aroma that he vaguely recognized; it was surprisingly enticing, but he couldn't quite place it. He glanced around, took in the surroundings. It was a scene of bedlam - ingredients of a random variety lay scattered throughout; puddles remained on the floor from spilt liquids; and what was worse, Jyuka would be awake soon, expecting a hearty meal.

Tendou refrained from saying anything; instead, he stood silently, waited for Kagami to enlighten him, lest he risk causing more chaos within the confines of his own kitchen.

"You see," began Kagami, his hair falling messily in front of his face as he leaned over the stove to examine a certain something being prepared with heat, "I had this idea."

Mentally, Tendou was reminded, begrudgingly, of any other _ideas_ Kagami had previously had. He grimaced, but allowed the boy to continue nonetheless.

"I thought that, you know, since you do so much caring for Jyuka, that I could help out some around here." He reached for a nearby egg; Tendou found himself unable to peek to see if any eggshells had been left in the skillet. "And this way, you can spend more time defeating the Worms, and not worry so much about whether or not she's being taken care of."

"Hiyori does a fine job of that already," Tendou interjected.

Kagami shook his head, reached for the salt. Tendou's eyes widened as he noticed just how much was being administered to whatever concoction Kagami was preparing. "Still," the boy continued, wiping away stray hairs in his eyes, "that's no excuse for me to not help, right?"

Tendou watched him momentarily. However hopeless Kagami might have appeared in the kitchen, it was still all too intriguing to him. The boy really was determined. It was a kind gesture, one that Tendou could not just willfully ignore. And, more so, he felt that the scene presented to him, of the boy dressed so adorably, was rather hard to take his eyes away from. But even so, Jyuka was _his _to take care of, _his _responsibility. He was not one to take on help so easily.

"It's not your place," he finally said, although he quickly realized he must have come across much too harshly, as Kagami shot him a bewildered look edging on hurt. He tried to elaborate. "What I mean is that you shouldn't have to; it's unnecessary. I have a certain way of doing things here." He leaned nonchalantly against the adjacent table, cocked his head. He said, "I have a routine."

Kagami nodded slowly, as if taking in such a statement required strenuous effort on his part. He looked at Tendou for a moment, staring patiently, awaiting any other response. Finally, he said, "I know that I don't _have_ to." He turned back to the stove, took the contents of the skillet and slid them onto a plate. Walking towards Tendou, he extended it to him, glanced up through his own long, billowing bangs with a look of hopefulness. "I _want_ to, okay?"

There it was, the source of the scent that had captured his senses previously: a single omelet, glazed over with onions and a hint of garlic, too. Tendou gazed upon the plate being ushered to him, upon the presentation that, surprisingly, was rather lovely. "You made this."

Kagami nodded. Tendou tried again. "You made this for me?"

"There's more for Jyuka," Kagami quickly added, his expression unchanged. "I just thought you might like some, too. I know I'm not an expert at cooking, but it seemed like a good idea at the time." He looked down at the floor, as if embarrassed by the neediness in his own voice. "And I thought, maybe, we could eat together for once."

Tendou took hold of the plate and held it, allowing the amazing smell, the curious emotion overcoming his senses, to engulf him. He said, "Together." The word left a foreign taste in his mouth; it was sensational.

After a moment, he said evenly, "Well?"

Kagami appeared confused. "What is it?"

"Do you expect me to eat this with my fingers? That's incredibly lousy etiquette, Kagami."

"Oh!" Quickly rushing away, Tendou took another quick glance at his supposed meal before the boy returned with a spoon in hand. "_Sumimasen_." He handed the utensil to Tendou with nervous fingers. "_Doozo_."

"_Doomo._" Tendou cautiously cut off a conservative portion of the omelet. He stared at it for a moment, as if inspecting it for flaws, then, steadily, took it into his mouth.

Kagami waited, his eyes wide, glistening. He said, "Do you… like it?"

At first, there was no response, just the faint sound of chewing, of the morsel being moved about carefully within Tendou's mouth. Kagami could garner no reaction from the man, no hints whatsoever, much to his own dismay.

Then, quite suddenly, he heard Tendou say, "It's different."

Kagami eyed the man skeptically. "Different?" He scratched the back of his head. "Should I have used less salt? Or maybe more? Or maybe it was the garlic – it looked like I was overdoing it just a bit. Actually, come to think of it, the tomatoes were-"

From his vision, he captured the sight of the plate being moved to the adjacent table, being set aside. He watched Tendou move slowly towards him, and felt a hand land gently upon his head. Then, he stood very still and, obediently, allowed the taller man to lean in close to him. Their lips met intimately, casually. Kagami could taste his own creation upon the man's lips, and found that he quite enjoyed it. When Tendou moved away, he found himself leaning forward helplessly, as if expecting more.

"It's fine," was the response he received – brooding, but heartfelt still. He took it as a compliment, a smile appearing across his face. Then, an easier tone, one that he rarely had the pleasure of hearing while the two were in each other's presence. "Come on, then. We'll have our meal in the kitchen. Jyuka will be awakening soon. She'll be expecting something to eat before we send her off."

He nodded, following obediently behind.

* * *

_Morning._

* * *

_Translation Notes:_

_Ohayoo Gozaimasu _– Good morning. (Polite)

_Ohayoo_ – Good morning. (Casual)

_Sumimasen _– Excuse me. / I'm sorry.

_Doozo _– Please. (Used while offering something.)

_Doomo _– Thank you. (Casual)


	2. 称賛

**Overview**

Title: Inappropriate, Superfluous Romance

Author: Xanagar

Part: Two

Rating: M

For genre, disclaimer, etc. see part one.

* * *

称賛

* * *

Kagami had come to the decision that it would be much safer to admire him from afar, rather than acting brashly and approaching him directly. He still had at least _some_ grace, after all, and he planned on holding onto it for the time being.

Originally, his intentions had been naturally fair. He had gone looking for Tendou, curious as to why the man hadn't appeared at the Bistro recently, either to make the usual rounds, to stop by for a meal, or to lay insults his way. Regardless, it had been a good idea, with purpose implied. And of course, he _had_ managed to find Tendou, albeit a bit preoccupied at the moment.

He stood motionless within the entrance to the man's garage; it smelt heavily of oil, gasoline, and the sleekness of metal, the luster of machinery. It was something Kagami was all too accustomed with, really. But it wasn't the machinery that had caught his eye. As he had entered, he had just managed to stop himself from calling out when his gaze fell upon the sight of the man working diligently underneath a familiar motorbike that Kagami had seen many times before.

Conveniently, he also seemed to have misplaced his own shirt.

Instinctively, Kagami had tried to dart his eyes away, to look at _anything else_, but to no avail. Once it became presumably apparent that Tendou had not noticed his entrance, he felt it safe to look onward, unabashed. Not even he could ignore the obvious definition that was involved in the shaping of the other man's body – the way his muscles churned while he worked, or the way his eyes remained transfixed, completely focused on a single objective. It was fascinating, and Kagami found himself suddenly trapped within a profound state of admiration.

Distantly, he imagined what other things those muscles could be capable of, or what it might feel like to be on the receiving end of those enthralling pupils. He blinked, and felt himself become suddenly hot with anxiety. His imagination began to run away from him, slipping out of his own sense of control and restrain.

Then, he heard it. It sounded almost playful, mockingly so.

"If you're just going to stand there, you should make yourself useful. Try passing me that wrench on the table next to you."

Kagami shook his head too furiously, canceling out the thoughts that had previously taunted him so intently. He reached for the requested tool, and hoped that Tendou hadn't noticed just how long he had been standing there. But, realistically, he knew that such thoughts were probably futile – this was _Tendou_ after all.

* * *

_Admiration._

* * *


	3. 潔白

**Overview**

Title: Inappropriate, Superfluous Romance

Author: Xanagar

Part: Three

Rating: M

For genre, disclaimer, etc. see part one.

* * *

潔白

* * *

Everything appeared to be beautiful from the hill. It was a separate place, something altogether intriguing and almost unnaturally tranquil. Kagami had taken to visiting more often, now that the Worm threat was becoming ever vigilant. At least here, he could exist somewhere else, if not for just a moment in time.

Presently, he rolled onto his back, stared up at the clouds and their infinite shapes. He imagined being able to fly, or the possibility of falling, of plummeting directly into the immense, fluffy masterpieces above him. He thought of sharing this beauty with someone else, someone special.

He felt the presence of another body, the weight of another human lying down beside him. He recognized that familiar smell, that quiet air of confidence and neutrality. He smiled.

A voice said, "What are you thinking about?"

He said, "I don't know. Heaven, I think."

* * *

_Innocence._

* * *

_  
_


	4. 休日

**Overview**

Title: Inappropriate, Superfluous Romance

Author: Xanagar

Part: Four

Rating: M

For genre, disclaimer, etc. see part one.

* * *

休日

* * *

Kagami was unsure of himself. He looked down at his own feet, taking the time to allow his eyes to uneasily scan the rest of his current attire. He felt an odd churning begin to announce itself within the inner chambers of his stomach, and wondered distantly whether or not this idea was entirely appropriate or not. Truly, he had been firmly against the idea to begin with; although, Tendou, in his usual fashion, had managed to be all too persuasive.

"I don't understand," he said, scratching the back of his head and pulling nervously on the lower hem of the ash-colored plaid that lay just above his knees. "Do I have to do this? It feels… _weird_."

Tendou rolled his eyes impatiently, as if Kagami should already know the answer to such an unnecessary question. He moved away from the nearby wall he had been leaning nonchalantly against and casually stuffed his hands into his pockets. "You don't have to understand; there's not a lot of logic to it. Apparently it's an American holiday. Little kids. They dress up in costume and run around from door to door." He reached Kagami, lowered his head so that the two were at precise eye-level. "And yes. You do."

"But isn't this something a _girl_ would normally wear?" Kagami protested, opening up his arms in a grand _it-should-be-all-too-obvious_ sort of gesture. Tendou eyed the other boy slowly, observing the outfit he himself had picked out earlier that day. It was a bit ordinary, yes, but it had seemed appropriate at the time. And the longer length of the socks certainly pulled the outfit together – it went well, Tendou believed, with the darker colors accented by the plaid skirt and the white of the Oxford, the hazelnut color of the other boy's skin. Not to mention that he was very much aware of the fact that, given the right circumstances and precise methods of influence, Kagami would do exactly what he asked of him.

"Yes," Tendou said rather evenly. "Yes, I think it is."

Kagami cocked his head in disbelief. With a sardonic sharpness, he said, "Then don't you think it would be better to wear a different costume? Maybe one that is actually _made to be worn by a guy_?"

He watched as Tendou leaned closer, grabbed the back of his head, pulled him closer. He could smell miso soup on the other man's breath; he shivered.

"That's not what I want." Tendou spoke firmly, leaving no room for question or further debate. "I want you to wear this. Understand?"

Kagami said nothing. Unable to loosen the gaze he found himself locked into, he nodded heavily.

"Good." Tendou touched his shoulder, squeezed it. Kagami blushed slightly, feeling strangely warm at the idea of being close to the other man. "Besides, there's candy involved, too."

Kagami's eyes suddenly widened. He gasped in a child-like way that made a small smirk appear at the corner of Tendou's face. "Really? You mean _actual_ candy?"

Tendou laughed. He pictured a particular scene involving the possibility of the boy running around the streets of Tokyo, anxiously greeting the passerby, a small bag in the shape of a pumpkin lively bumping against his leg periodically.

"So I've heard," he said.

* * *

_Holiday._

_

* * *

  
_


	5. 女の人

**Overview**

Title: Inappropriate, Superfluous Romance

Author: Xanagar

Part: Five

Rating: M

For genre, disclaimer, etc. see part one.

* * *

女の人

* * *

The question had come to him seemingly out of thin air as the two had been walking casually along the streets.

"Am I allowed to look at women?"

Tendou had said nothing, and so Kagami continued. "I mean, I know I shouldn't look at other men, but there really shouldn't be a problem with looking at other women, Tendou. You know, they can be really attractive if you give them a chance. And they can be a _lot_ kinder to you, I think, as long as you don't make them angry. And sometimes-"

To his surprise, Tendou had stopped on the spot and had proceeded to grip his shoulder with profound force, causing him to whine in protest.

"No." Tendou's voice had been so intimidating, almost frighteningly so. Needless to say, Kagami had refrained from asking such questions from that point onward.

* * *

_Women._

_

* * *

  
_


	6. 持っている

**Overview**

Title: Inappropriate, Superfluous Romance

Author: Xanagar

Part: Six

Rating: M

For genre, disclaimer, etc. see part one.

* * *

持っている

* * *

There were the cries of pain, the occasional desperate clawing and scrapes at his back. There was the quickening of heartbeats, the panic that came with failed attempts to breathe. There was the irksome stickiness and heat of sweat and skin, the numbing of the senses. Here was a profound connection between two individuals, the most beautiful act imaginable by ordinary human beings.

Tendou steadied his breathing effortlessly. He slowed his pace, if not for the sake of the smaller boy beneath him. He reminded himself that not everyone was as relentless as he was, especially here, during these sacred moments. Momentarily, he searched for eye contact. He made another thrust, and heard yet another small wince of protest. But even these sounded beautiful to him, laced ever so elegantly with a hint of absolute begging within them. He nobly obliged.

"What does it feel like?" His voice was low, and held a certain edge to it that allowed Kagami's ears to ring mercilessly. "I want to know. What must it feel like to have me inside of you?"

Kagami wrapped his arms around the other man's neck. He felt so odd – absolutely helpless, but also, incomprehensibly safe. It was confusing to him, but he welcomed it nonetheless. When he failed to answer, Tendou responded by thrusting once again, this time much more roughly than Kagami could sanely handle. He cried out again, tried to pull himself up, closer to Tendou's lips, which were already thoroughly swollen.

He spoke weakly, now completely out of breath and struggling to keep his focus clear. "It feels… I mean, it… _hurts._"

"Oh?" Tendou smiled, leaned close to Kagami's neck, began to nibble affectionately. "How unfortunate for you."

Kagami laughed faintly. "Be quiet." Then, he sighed. The small pause of movement allowed him to capture his breathing patterns once again, and the numbness in his head began to not feel so incredibly heavy. "But… I think I really like it, Tendou."

Another harsh thrust, another insatiable cry to Tendou's ears. He kissed the small boy's neck, the heightened bite marks he'd left behind. "I'm happy to hear that."

* * *

_To have._

_

* * *

  
_


End file.
